Seoul Survivors RFC

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Well boys, Manila has once again come and gone like a thief in the night. A thief that you meet in a bar, ask to come back to your room for some paid services and that same thief ends up eating all your snack bar and then you have to spend 2 hours bitching about it at the front desk. Yes, just like that sort of thief.

I will apologize in advance for not using crazy colors and more spelling errors per sentence than a 1st grader. Nathan wasn't able to come as he has recently been house broken so the duties have to be carried out by some one else.

To start, special mention to Dean and Beau,aka Rodeo, for not arriving early enough to receive tour hats, thus being the first two people fined before the Team even boarded the plane. Another special mention goes to Dean, or Johnny 27, or Therapist  for being a great team player and helping us stay sober and healthy on the plane. Dean bravely got drunk quickly in an effort to get the stewardess to cut us all off. This happened quite quickly and the rest of us were lucky to get two beers on a 4 hour flight. Thus, Dean, being the team player that he is, let us stay sober an extra period of time which was done in no doubt to help us put on a good show the following day. In a strange turn of events, one of the first fines was given by a stewardess who wrote a rather official looking document giving a fine to Johnny 27 aboard the plane. I think it was even notorized by a notery public.

So, our booze cut off we landed in Manila surprisingly sober. Actually, completely sober. Which we quickly rectified. Out to the girly bars we went sporting the new club wear for warm weather, green t-shirts.

party

Starting off at Helter Skelter(Heckle and Jeckle?) and some pitchers of Gin and Tonic the team proceded to do what Survivors do in Manila and get drunk and hang out with women working their way through law school or women who are tourist consultants, even a few that are virginal innocents. Tour Newbie Rodeo put on a good show and PussyCats entertaining us all with what can only be described as the bucking bronco. He also mistakenly believe that a hooker would pick his pocket. It would later turn out that he just isn't bright enough to realize the money is in his undies. Everyone slowly staggard home. Simon won the award for least sleep on tour, only taking a 30 minute nap between the bars and the Rugby.

Saturday saw an early wake up call. 7:00 am. Which is the earliest some of us (me included) have had to wake up for in many months. As we ate breakfast and tried to wipe the liqour glaze from our eyes and the hooker stank from our skin some mentally prepared for the game, others lamented the fact that they had survived the night and had to be alive in the Manila heat.

The first day saw the Survivors in typical fashion for the first game. Those that weren't hung over were drunk and those that weren't drunk were lying. With 12 guys, we had little room for error in terms of subbing or getting hurt.

The first game, as usual saw the boys wiping sleep from our eyes and sweating out all the good booze we paid for the previous night. Honestly, I don't think a single person on the team can honestly say they remembered the entire game. The majority of the Survivors just sort of woke up magically on the pitch as the game against Macau unfolded. Our pack dominated in the scrums and everyone played well despite the hinderance of booze and a late night. The game ended up tied, although it easily could have been won and should have been won. Final score 5 to 5. We'll meet these boys again in the Yellow Sea Cup.

The second game was the easiest game since the team we were to play didn't show up. Clearly they have heard about the tri-Kiwi threat in the back line and didn't want to stand up to the shoulders of Death and Destruction and Death jr. and Destruction jr. Playing a mixed team, the score was ran up and the game was used to try out moves and get a bit of work in on plays. Eventually the score was run up so high on field captain 50 pesoes told us to stop scoring; Which led to several very confusing runs half way to the try zone. Final score, a lot to zero.

playing

After a shower and shave at the hotel, we went to shakeys for a pizzariffic team dinner all provided by our team benefactor Mr. Ken, who picked up the entire tab. 8 whole pizzas were consumed in about 20 minutes by 13 people. The night got off to a slow start with a weary band of brothers enjoying some vodka red bull at Helter Skelter(Heckle and Jeckle?). Although the night then quickly picked up with the idea of going to see some midget boxing. Which is easily as funny as it sounds. One grown man vs three half people is a rather one sided fight. Although the girls at the bar were more than happy to join the fray. Rj or aka Muttly aka Ass to Mouth, pansied out of refing some foxxxy boxing when he realized he had to buy the girls shots. After being denied the chance to actually fight each other the call was made to move to the next bar.

Here is the point in the night when many things happened. Many things that are, as everyone knows, covered by the infamous law of "what happens on tour stays on tour". If you want to know individual stories, ask those that were there. Suffice to say, we were drunk and in Manila and the tour newbies did us proud. Our mothers of course would be ashamed. Although Rodeo did attempt to round house air and fell on his face. Resulting in much enjoyment by everyone who wasn't Rodeo. And the scoial team the Flying Elvises put on easily one of the most weird parties I've ever stumbled upon. Special mention to Mister Suspcious for letting us crash the bar and witness things we didn't know were legal.

My favorite quotes of the night.

"Her breath smelled like dicks."

"No dude, she's a tourism consultant not a hooker"

"It's cool, she's a virgin"

"He's in here alot"

etc.



The Big Match of the tourney for the Survivors came when we played tour champions the Amec Black Watch.

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