"Tour Report Mark 2"

The Survivors have once again managed to travel abroad and return without any major international incidents. Though there were a few incidents, the locals just turned the other way, a few times holding their noses to avoid the smell of things (this was harder for the short people to avoid). All in all, things went great during the China trip. The Survivors came back from their first trip to the mainland with a 1-1 record.

At arrival in HK, a certain Subic Survivor who just so happened to reside there met us. It was he who organized the hotel and the evening match with the Pot Bellied Pigs. I must say that once again a couple of beers and a raw live prawn in addition to a donated bottle of Johnny Black (And mai tai but you can stick that somewhere dark) brought out the party in the boys (details available but protected by WGOTSOT). I think the medal of shame was transferred at least 4 times (Of course beginning with Fonzie who earned it for his pre-tour struggle for love). The party was well organized with a boat ride around HK . It took 3 days for the swaying to go away although I am not sure whether it was the beer or the boat. I don't think there was anyone who could complain, except those who did not come on tour.

On Saturday dark AM the boys returned from extensive training, right and ready for a full-on match with the Peoples' Liberation Army (PLA) team. A 2pm we arrived by train and as expected, were nominated to soften the PLA up first so the Rams could finish them off next. (I don't know the score was for the Rams/PLA game but since no Survivors played in the second game I don't think it is important.) It was obvious that the PLA allowed their rugby team a much larger portion of rice than the rest of the country, as the survivors never looked so small against any other team. Anyway as for our game, the first half was the 'get the piss out of our system half'. The PLA scored two tries and one conversion before we stirred in the second half. A special mention in the first half goes to the anonymous individual who mistook the try line for the dead ball line and insisted in not crossing it. Needless to say, the medal of shame underwent another transfer of ownership for that. In the second half, we came into our own; the PLA did not score again. Jaimie Oliveras scored an impressive bash and barge try after two attempts. Brodie made the conversion. Congratulations Jamie and Brodie. This brought us to within one try of the PLA. Alas, the victory most sought after was not to be. The game stayed close, with the Survivors battling to fall short in a 12 - 7 defeat. If either the Great or Dear Captain had been there to give us "On the Spot Guidance" on how to deal with the Chinese, we might have turned this into a victory. A special mention goes to Roof Top Lover for his excellent performance in the lineouts, even though he needs to zero his throwing arm, Brodie for his non-stop hard playing, and Horse for his excellent lead of the backs. Many others deserve a mention, they being Subic Survivor, TRFKASM, John, and Anton. As for our fearless leader, his encouragement from the sidelines was invaluable in rallying the troops. However, his performance as beer boy was not so impressive as he and Lovey drank most of it during the last match.

In the second match of the day, the battle went better for the Survivors; this could have been inspired from the Noble Captain's beer drinking during the game. This was played against a team of normal size and speed and they obviously tried to drink as much as the Survivors on Friday night. The Survivors kept them deep in their own territory for much of the first half, while scoring two tries. In the second half, the Survivors had to play a bit more defense; only allowing one try to be scored, before marching back down the pitch and playing the rest of the game on their end. The matched ended at 14 -7 with the first Survivor victory in PLA territory. A special mention goes to the two PLA wingers who basically could run faster than a kicked ball.

As for the night, the banquet was excellent and the after banquet cultural tour was tremendous. Let's give a great applause to Chris Edwards for being the "Man of the match" with his sprinting try from the half way line, as well as a thanks for all he did to get things going for us. Hats off to Jaime Oliveras, scored two tries during the day. Thanks to Antoine for making the trip to China with us, even though he did come up a bit short. One great cheer for the South China Rams, they hosted us very well!

The two new nicknames voted on were

1) Dave (not horse) Mr. Hanky (details available but protected by WGOTSOT)

2) Roof Top Lover RTL and/or Pygmy (details available but protected by WGOTSOT)

List of Medal of shame recipients:

Well, only one did not receive it, that being Jamie Oliveras (no details available that can be protected by WGOTSOT).

Scrapper and TRFKASM

"The Lady in Glitter"

Yes, we're back, alive and with only a little less sanity from the weekend's escapades. The Survivor's made their inaugural journey behind the Great Wall & shared some lovely rugby culture with the natives there. Although we came off the paddock at 1 - 1, we can certainly return home with a sense of victory from the weekend as a hole.

First of all...Dr. Scrapper will be sending another report out with more match information & the like...look for that on a computer near you soon...

Many thanks must go out first and foremost to Subic Survivor...whom I feel should also be known as 'Old Faithful'...I can't think of anyone who more embodies the spirit of the Survivors. Safe to say that he's made more tours with us over the years than most of the players we have here in Seoul! Thanks to his great organization, we had an incredible hotel/dinner/boat cruise/night out in Wanchai/train ride to Guangzhou....you get the picture. The boat cruise to Lamma Island (off HK) on friday night deserves special mention, however. If for no other reason, that most of the participants are likely without any recollection of the evening. Incredible food...awful alcohol...and drunken ruggers eating live seafood right out of the ocean. Scrapper and the Dive Master earn special mention here...the Dive Master also deserves recognition for his aid in procuring a bottle of JW Black from a bunch of even drunker Arabs at the table next to ours - and then ensuring that all present in the restaurant joined in the imbibing. The bad news on the alcohol front came when we were coerced into trying Mao Tai...a Chinese drink that makes Soju taste like ice cream. As Mr. Hanky put it "I could clean my weapon with that shit!" He later proceeded to clean Hong Kong Harbor with it...good work!

Indeed, the unwanted & untimely emissions of bodily fluids were a recurring theme for the weekend. It seemed like the Survivors suffered from an inability to keep inside some of the wonderful food and drink we had over the weekend. All this accomplished via a veritable symphony of orifices as well. Hence some of the new nicknames that were earned over the weekend.

Despite all of this, nobody could claim that it was a shitty weekend...on the contrary. On the pitch, we did our best at "rugby diplomacy"...losing to the PLA side 12 - 7; in a game that we really could have one had the educational system in Zimbabwe done a better job at teaching geometry...I should mention at this point that we were fortunate to have a new (and very welcome) member to our ranks...Anton from Zimbabwe, a friend of Subic's & now a friend of ours. Looking forward to hooking up with him again!

Anyway, in the second match, we combined with our prior opponents from the PLA and played the host South China Rams in a very good match that saw the Survivors victorious 14 - 5...or something like that. While everyone played exceptionally well and it was definitely a team effort, special mention goes to Subic & Jaime for outstanding performances. Tough to lose when you got guys like that wearing your shirt.

After the games we joined the Rams (first-class hosts, through and through, by the way) for an evening of incredible food, more awful alcohol, and some wonderful music (see report's subtitle). Last report had it that we could be heard two blocks down the street; fortunately the PLA didn't make a reappearence in full non-rugby regalia at this point. After that...well....WGOTSOT...you all know the routine. I will say this much, though; between Pygmy's oral decorations and Lovey-Dovey's furniture re-arranging there is one bar in Guangzhou that will never quite be the same again.

The following day saw us on a return train ride to HK (albeit a much smellier ride this time around) & on to the airport to return to the land of dirt pitches.

A few other items worth mentioning:

New nicknames acquired: Mr. Hanky (don't ask...just follow your nose)

The Roof-Top Lover is now also known as Pygmy. Beer can be such a terrible thing at times.

Tour fool: Pygmy...which gives him the honor of having his name engraved on the fool's medallion next to the illustriuos Dive Master.

Thanks again to all who participated. I've been on many a Survivor tour and this one was without a doubt one of the very best. Hope to see you all on tour again soon.

Cheers,

Ted