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This year's Cambodian footy tour was a classic in so many ways. New words & acronomyns were created, some (I mean a hell of a lot of) champagne rugby, a few dumby spits, food or should I say pizzas by the Dozen (baker's that is), old dogs travelled to play with us and several older than 35 players showed the young pups what it's all about. The inaugural ARA pool olympics were held and lots more that stays on tour (hey manboobs?).
From the beginning the tour seemed destined for good times - the vibe was high so too Ian's attire (way out there)! The excitement stretched way into the flight as we drank the bar dry the laughs kept coming! The term Harjee was introduced & just wouldn't Farkin go away thanks to Yacob & Quagmire's persistance. & when we arrived the joy of friday off to adjust to the conditions was welcomed with a serious drinking & pizza session till the wee hours of the morning. During the feast one fella dubbed DVD dropped his toys & earned himself (just by a hairy claw) the ultimate honour with a tour fool performance through a pre game motivational prep talk! It was a gem of a speech which included lines such as "I'd rather play for the crabs than u fools", nice one bro! Deep Vain Dean carving up ur own team! Finally to finish off the nite we had a bloody lovely swim and out of the blue, the flying Walrus was seen, nice one Roddy all class!
Friday's antics saw the team head out to the shooting range, highlights were
1- Ian cutting cambodia a new equator with an Ak47 which even saw his helper running for cover
2- Quaigmire 4 proving he can actually do something as well as he says, overall the boys loved the gun tooting power session!!!!
The hotel we stayed in was a true Authur Fonzerello special which means basically it's a glorified massage palour but with a classy little casino on the first floor which was personally manned by Ken, Jin , Roddy & Justin for most of the time, the little gem served as a great meeting place which served free piss 2 all over the entire weekend - classic choice teddles, oh one more thing it offered, the pool!!!! The pool was the scene of one the greatest inhouse club battles.
The ARA Pool Olympics - a multiple event designed to separate the boys from the men! North Vs South, old dog v young dog, a real team spirit builder!
Under water laps, flying walrus, aqua rugby, classic catches, butterfly
The southern boys were pipped by the silent but violent Justin (USA(dubbed glory boy)) in the underwater event!!! But the butterfly relay saw the southerners square the ledger with the worst possible example being offered by roids!!! The wounded turtle i think! Next was the flying walrus which was conducted under suspect conditions & again Glory Boy came through for the Northerners!!!
Next was classic catches and yes there were a few but the southerners showed them how we roll and we rolled them in an effortless display of catching!
All tied up with just the Aqua Rugby to go - worth 2 points mind you ! & yes u guessed it 4 -1 to the Southerners - Roddy the Emu, Tukki and Quagmire & Mason & manboobs dished it out to the roid infected Northerners and we took it out !!!!!! Even though Yacob kept claiming victory all weekend!! Another Drinking Fine for u brother!! Tedlles showed up & we hit Sharky's bar for some free piss and grub!!!! Bloody good times !!
Game day!!
Game 1- Oh we were feeling seedy, sleepy & poor old mason was dripping from the wrong end!!! 1st game@ 8:40 against the Bedok Kings from Hong Kong (i think) & it was a great start with steve martin grabbing their ball from our kick, he was so close but alas no try... hell of a poor start 4 good old quagmire, he did his knee within the 1st minute - no knock out tackle or glorious turn of speed! Just stopping after the whistle. Then da emu graced the field and the ball kept coming out the back line I got smashed continuously. Roddy snuffed a classic chance when he gave Tuki a ball below his shoes 5 out from the line with no one in front of him! (It's all on Utude soon) Still the forwards & half forward manboobs dominated the breakdown & the tackling was wicked! I got some ball & gave a lesson to all basket ball players in Cambodia & delivered a wicked Bball pass on to Tuki's chest and he gracefully carved up the covering defence to put our first points of the tournament up!-half time and then again we had them pinned down in their own half with ruthless defence and great running from the forwards!We just couldn't put them to the sword, they were stretched as to we but with the last play in the last minute - mason had a brain snap while snapping a drop goal which was plucked out of the air & spun out the backline to the flash who stood Steve martin up (i was replaced good one Justin) and the buggar sliced up the field and race 98 meters to score the equalizer!!!!!!!!!!! Bastards didn't deserve it !!!! & we moved on !!!
Game 2 Survivors Vs Pangolins!
By this time Churchy & Scottish had rocked up - Roddy kicked off with the first of a dozen shockers that didn't make the 10 (I know, u never said u were a kicker) and the game is a bit of a blur but I know they scored first and we recieved a bit of a dressing down by our captain and the forwards muscled up and they started what seemed to be an endless effort of dominating every team we played ! Both Justins were on the ball and Old ARA Ash the godfather of the movement, worked tirelessly with Dean who was determined to redeem himself from previous verbal shit-dribbling and was constantly the voice and 1st body 2 the breakdown!Dareen played himself into the forward pack for the remainder of his time in Korea with his tackling and chase! The pangolins didn't know what hit em when we crossed twice by the forwards before and straight after the half time break !They tried to get back into the game but were finished off by another backline movement, that secured our 1st victory!
Game 3 Survivors vs PSE the cambodian national side!
Well this game was just like playing the Korean uni side with their own referee just giving them everything! we were pinged for every bullshit rule u could think of and the forwards were getting pretty frustrated. These cheeky buggars were in the backline before church could even pass the ball! Ian started and showed great patience as he virously watched a ball sneak over the deadball line - what nerve he showed!So with their ref assisted piggy back & a whole lotta pressure they finally got the first try of the match a minute before the break. We regrouped & the game plan changed & the forwards held on to it & did what we planned & took the ref out of the game. they worked so well as a unit we got 2 trys in the second half- don't know who they went to it wasn't me i know that but I believe manboobs was gifted one from one of Roddy's busts up the middle and he proceeded to dot it down were roddy could of instead of under the posts & got some lip service form the big fella!!!Lovely 2 watch!! There was a bit of slap & tickle and we ruffed them up in the end & the ref couldn't take it away from our forwards work!!!
I think he even took a fancy to Roids which held us in favour later on!Oh yes How could I forget !!! Craig majically recovered from his career ending injury & yelled for some pitch time & so I did the right thing much like the forwards that were marching forward and low and behold the ball shoots out the backline to who, you guessed it the one legged lame duck who waltzed my try over the line & claimed it as the try that took us to the final- its true it did break the deadlock & the Cambodians never looked like breaking us in the last 5 minutes. Got2 mention craig came straight off after scoring my try! Cheeky farker!!!Gotta mention Tuki got stage 2 ARA during this game ! Bro u just gota stay away from that shit - its just not good for u!!!!!!
Game 4 - Survivors vs Bangkok Bangers
These fellas were a tough lot & they sported a ex canadian world cup prop, what that means is shit all to me if he had off surfed pipeline @ 25 foot I'd give him props. The game plan switched to back line ball and the boys in the forwards toughed it out and got as some good ball, some classic moments in this game were manboobs smacking one of their fellas -sweet hit bro, yacob aka Harjee not pinning his ears back again ( he learnt in the end) the old dogs like Won, ARA Ash & Dean digging in and a tough old battle that saw the ref favouring us & binning the ex-world cup prop for the last 5mins of the game & here it is 3 mins left the boys have got them out of breathe on there 5 yard line !! Our forwards were doing the world of good until they got white line fever!! All we have to do is win this game & we are playing the Cup final against a weaker geckos team if we don't we play the Barbas who looked to be the best team of the tourny in the Plate final. 1min play left, have them down on their own 5meter line from the scrum yes man boobs goes himself toward the 5 meter blindside!"I was bringing them all in for the overlap fellas" we Farken already had one!! Craig could of come back on &^ scored a double !! At least he gets the ball back & what happens then Justin (usa) aka GLORY BOY then goes the Blindside again which is now half a meter - with the whole back line free & he scores - NO - bundled out like a patsy !!! Blinkers and white line fever !!!!! In surfing terms Bloody Kooks!! So we had a nil all score line & headed straight for the plate final!!! We put their foolishness behind us & focused on the final!!!
The Plate Final--Survivors vs Singapore Barbarians
Sore & Knackered, we had little step left in us, so ted did his usually bullshit speech " come on we have won this we just gotta got out there & play our game" thats the jinx of all jinxs!& we wandered on & faced the music, we held our own in the first half a few little mistakes , I had me balls grabbed in the ruck & got a pentalty for whinging, he liked us this ref, the forwards were tired & but we put it to them & tuki came a fraction from crossing! they booted it deep & I fumbled it and well it went a bit pear shaped. They got a penalty 4 some bullshit and he told us to hold on they tapped off and tinkered through the forwards who had their backs to the play & they crossed with 10 seconds left in the 1st half - the softest try in the history of 10s!! They were lucky 2 be 5 ahead and we walked off pissed !! The half time huddle was awesome we just looked at each other & we knew they were nothing they were hanging on to it by our mistakes - 10 minutes left fellas do for each other was the call- they are soft step up - 10minutes! So we went out again & basically we stepped up! the forwards led by Roids, Manboobs & darren turned their scrum 4 times - ah maybe 3 but put us in some great position - they were hanging on to their lead & resorted to kicking out from their own line! After I razed & taught harjee(yacob) to do ya jink when ya got to the man not 10 meters b4 he finally showed us what he was made of and put his ears back from the half way mark on the far left wing, caught the ball on the full ran around the kicker & drew the right wing in who cut off the out side centre (nutgrabber) and jinked & glided past for a try in the far right corner!! Bloody Glorious!!! Roddy hit the post & its 5 all!! The boys could feel we were not going to let this slip by and we husseled up, we had one more big dash down the left flank with teddles running a good 25 meters only to have it snuffed out with a shonky but great attempted pass, it was only then we thought we were to be beaten by time !! The clock was ticking and the Commentator called it, 1 min left and 5 minutes extra time if it is equal!!No one wanted to play another 5 minutes.. then we turned it over 2 them and they threw it out to my direction nutgrabber left it behind!! Good pressure Emu!!!! I followed the ball & the littlest man on the pitch picked it up I held him up Dean&Tuki were straight in behind Turnover !!!!! Yes - Glory boy passes it to Roddy who reached 10 feet in the air to bring it down and pass it on in one movement to Roids who dash at least 10 meters and draws in 2 defenders!!!! A beautifully deft inside pass landed in Manboobs lap & he ran a perfect line to bring in the remaining cover defence! Finally he passes or lets it go and magically Churchy is there to put it down behind the post!!! The Hooter goes we have won the plate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes a great team try to top of a great team effort all day!!! This shit is awesome !!!! Never won a trophy b4 & it was just awesome to play it with all these blokes ! Still wearing the smile!!!!So u can see most of the second half on YouTube when Quaggy gets it together & yes all I wrote is true!!! Some classic footage which Harjee's & I watch 10 times that night!!!!
Big thanks to Ken, for coming out & shouting us meal after pizza& taxi rides around town & home !! Thanks Ken- all props to Jin 4 coming even with a broken neck!!!! Lots of love to the ladies who put up with our shit for the entire weekend & thanks - & for the wonderful phamphlet highlighting that 50% of pros are ARA, not touching that one!!!Scottish & Church - glad u came we needed u & u were there 2 be counted !!!! Cheers c u in Thailand some day soon!!!!
I have been on every tour possible with the survivors, from the 2 cities in China, manilla and now Cambodia & I gotta say it a gem this one !! Plenty off time to relax eat pizza the whole time and basically chill out play good fun rugby and hang with ya mates !!!! Sweet tour . thanks ted 4 organising Thanks Roddy for organising & leading from the front!!!! & the rest off u !!! Yes Undefeated!!!!!!!!!! great to stand beside u!!!!! not behind ya U Harjee's!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love VD the Flying EMU!!!!
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